First came love, then came marriage, now comes…baby in a baby carriage hastily constructed by two kings who ignored the instruction manual.
To be fair, if the instructions for something I was putting together looked like this:
I might try to do it without the manual too. Or you know, being a king, you could always have someone do it for you. But what do I know.
So anyway, the third entry in the (in)famous A Christmas Prince series from Netflix surrounds the impending birth of Queen Amber and King Richard’s first child. But even more than that, there’s a centuries-old treaty, deception (shocker, I know), curses(?), and more. So let’s dive in to some of the best/worst parts of the newest addition to this glorious series. And another reminder that spoilers will follow.
Plot
Quick plot overview before get into the good stuff.
As Queen Amber and King Richard prepare for the arrival of the titular royal baby, they first have to take care of very important royal business: re-signing a treaty with Penglia, another fictional (seemingly Asian) country. But – gasp! – the treaty goes missing the night before it is to be signed, which could put in motion a chain of terrible events (we’ll get to that). And when a snowstorm keeps everyone stuck in the castle, the movie turns into a whodunnit to rival Knives Out.
Honeymoon
As Amber’s reads aloud her latest blog as we begin the movie, she briefly mentions her and Richard’s honeymoon. We get this sweet Photoshopped picture of them. One of the great things about these movies is how much they lean into their corniness and overall low quality. And Royal Baby doesn’t miss a step in that regard. And it starts right away with this.
Centennial Treaty
Six hundred years ago, Aldovia and Penglia were at war with each other, with no real end in sight. Then, suddenly, with no explanation at all, leaders of the two sides came to a truce and signed a treaty on Christmas Eve 1419. Now, every 100 years, the countries’ respective leaders gather together for a ceremonial re-signing of the treaty.
But even though it’s a ceremonial signing – King Richard’s mother clearly states as much – there are very real consequences should the treaty not be signed by 11:59 PM on Christmas Eve. To start, the two countries would technically return to a state of war (not great!). Second, if one country is in debt to the other, the outstanding balance becomes due immediately. And at the present time, Aldovia is €1 billion in debt to Penglia. And third – this is where it gets really, really good – the first born child of the royal family at fault will be cursed.
So when the treaty goes missing, there’s a widespread panic. Who did it? Will it be found in time? What actually happens if the treaty isn’t signed by its deadline?
Did They Just Make The Joke I Think They Made?
I’m not going to get into this one. I’ll just leave this here and you can decide for yourself.
Baby Shower
First off, this baby shower is definitely fancier than the wedding during the last movie. It makes sense, given how ridiculous these are, but still.
But the main takeaway from the shower is that nobody has any idea how to play the baby picture guessing game, even though everyone is seemingly quite familiar with it. Based on the name alone, most can probably figure out what it is. But just to be safe, you make a board with a bunch of different baby pictures. The guests/players then try to guess whose picture is whose. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, not for our dear Aldovians and Penglians.
Instead, they just straight up point out their own pictures.
“Not Tonight”
If you remember from the first movie, there was a scene essentially stolen straight from Beauty and the Beast. Amber was riding a horse alone in the woods. She falls off as is approached by a wolf. Richard swoops in to save the day.
And this scene is, for some reason, a callback to that moment? I don’t know why it was included, but sure, why not. Would have been much better, though, if an actual wolf confronted King Richard here and this was all he did to get rid of it.
The Dungeon
At the end of The Royal Wedding, Lord Leopold was sent to the castle’s dungeon. And this time around in Royal Baby, we actually get to see the dungeon. And, well, it gets kind of dark.
Unless this is some sort of wildly random reference to The Shawshank Redemption, I think the only logical conclusion to draw from this is that Leopold died in this very dungeon. And considering that was only one year prior to the events in The Royal Baby, I think Aldovia’s treatment of their prisoners has to be questioned.
So Who Did It?
Why it was Mr. Little of course! At the time of the original treaty there was some sort of nonsense about a love triangle, and Mr. Little is a descendent from the losing end of said triangle. He had a “blood oath” that he had to fulfill for his family. Though he claims he didn’t know about the curse.
And how was Mr. Little found out? By Amber’s investigative journalism skills, obviously!
Wait, no, that’s not right. Her investigative journalism instincts basically only led her to orchestrate break ins to bedrooms. We’re basically told everything in one big expositional informational dump. Sure.
But nevertheless the day is saved and the treaty is signed at 11:59 PM Christmas Eve, just before Amber gives birth to royal baby daughter.
What Next?
If I know one thing, it’s that I never want the Christmas Prince series to end. Royal Baby may not have had quite as much ridiculousness as the first two, but there is still plenty here to revel in. But what comes next year? We’ve already covered the beginning of the relationship, marriage, and baby. I think a Simon-focused movie would be great. Near the end of Royal Baby, he became engaged to Amber’s friend Melissa. Nothing wrong with a second royal wedding.
But I think what I really want to see is a story focusing on Amber doing extended investigative journalism. She’s someone who thinks blogging her personal life is true journalism. She thinks breaking into people’s bedrooms and rifling through their personal belongings constitutes investigative journalism. And in the few brief moments we’ve seen her writing and that process, it stands to reason that Amber thinks she is significantly more talented than she actually is. So getting an entire movie around that premise? I couldn’t be more in.
