In honor of Roger Federer’s 101st career title, the 2019 Miami Open, I’d like to pay homage not only to the G.O.A.T. himself, but also to the important people behind the scenes who make Roger the person he is. With all the time he spends playing on television, viewers have grown accustomed to seeing his entire family in his box. I’m going to rank the top five Federer family members, including Roger, based on the impression they’ve left upon me over the past several years.
#5: The kids. As many who closely follow tennis know, Roger Federer has two sets of twin children. One set of boys and one set of girls. This presents several possibilities in terms of future tennis production. The boys can play singles against each other or doubles together. Same for the girls. And then there’s the four mixed doubles combinations that could dominate for years to come. We’ll leave them collectively in the number five spot for now until each of them can build their tennis portfolios.
#4: Mama Fed (Lynette). What is more impressive than being the greatest person to ever grace this planet? How about being the woman who gave birth to such a gifted individual? While you’re not going to get much emotion from Roger’s mom, she’s as loyal as the day is long. A constant, stoic presence in the Federer box, she registers fourth on this distinguished list.
#3: Papa Fed (Robert). It pains me to put Papa Fed in the third spot. His mustache and eyebrows alone would be enough to claim the pedestal in 99% of families worldwide. In fact, Robert makes me a little disappointed in Roger, which shouldn’t even be possible. Every day that goes by where Roger doesn’t grow a similar ‘stache is a day wasted. Combine the mustache and eyebrows with perhaps the most genuine smile you’ll ever see and you have a truly magical person.
#2: Roger. This is a tough break for Roger. When you think about it, there’s not much more he could do to claim the top spot. His Wikipedia page alone would be a 300-page novel. As listed on it, he’s got the most Grand Slam tournament wins ever with 20, the most grand slam matches played and won, the most semifinal and quarterfinal appearances, the most consecutive semifinals and quarterfinals, and about a hundred other records between Grand Slams and the ATP World Tour.
He’s also partially responsible for creating two sets of twins, speaks six languages, has dual citizenship, has his own foundation for disadvantaged children to promote their access to sports, and has put together a number of charity events to raise money for those affected by natural disasters. Not to mention, his charisma is off the charts. His interviews are gold. Unfortunately, he just doesn’t quite stack up to the top member of the Federer family.
#1. Mirka. How can Roger not be ranked #1, you ask? Well, Mirka is an established tennis player in her own right, reaching her highest world ranking of 76th in 2001. Her own Wikipedia page states she started playing tennis when Martina Navratilova personally sent her a racquet when she was nine years old after meeting her at a tournament. Did Martina Navratilova ever send Roger a racquet? Probably not.
What sets Mirka apart is her mystique and presence in general. She is perhaps more in touch with how Roger is playing than even he is. While Roger seems to lack urgency at times, Mirka’s level of concern fluctuates given the circumstances of each match. But, at the same time, she always appears in complete control. She knows when he’s in trouble. She knows when he’s playing well. And she knows when he’s playing so well she can just read a book instead of watching the match.
Not to mention, she’s the one who has to drag all those kids around while they’re on the road and keep them in check. If you’ve got four kids all sitting courtside and manage not to irritate a tightly-wound opponent, you’ve raised them right. Taking all factors into consideration, I’ll give her the slight edge. Congrats to her on taking the #1 ranking in a remarkable group of people.
Mirka sticks her nose into places she has no business. Just ask my boy Stan. I think Roger sucked all the class out of her and left her hopeless.