It’s March. Spring is almost here. NCAA Tournament brackets will be released less than ten days from now. And, if you live in Minnesota like I do, there’s only two more months of snow!
But, most importantly, the 2019 Women’s College Basketball Tournament of Names has arrived.
If you missed the Inaugural 2018 Men’s College Basketball Tournament of Names, here’s what I’m talking about: A tournament that matches up some of the best player names in college basketball, using the same single-elimination style bracket as the regular NCAA Tournament. Searching every college basketball roster in America, from the well-known powerhouses of Duke and North Carolina, to the darkest depths of Regis University, the top 64 names are assembled.
How does one win the NCAA Basketball Tournament of names, you ask? Well, you get to decide the winners and losers. Round by round, you vote to advance your favorite players and determine which one ultimately has the best name in college basketball. You can print and fill out your own bracket, or take part in the public voting to see which players emerge as fan favorites (or both!). I’ll post links below to the full bracket and voting:
2019 Women’s College Basketball Tournament of Names (Printable)
Updates to the public voting bracket will be provided at the completion of each round, and are not necessarily consistent with the timing of the actual NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament.
The men had a strong debut in 2018. With a final four consisting of Shackeel Butters, Leroy Butts IV, Tasmania Indaiana Jones, and Diing Diing Wol, the competition was fierce. When it was all said and done, Leroy Butts IV stole all of our hearts and was crowned the champion. In honor of those great names, a region in this year’s Tournament of Names has been dedicated to each.
Alternating between the men and women on a yearly basis, the women are up in 2019. While some of the men’s names from 2018 were NSFW (looking at you, Mr. Jurkin), I really tried to class up the ladies’ bracket this year. Just to be clear, in no way did that weaken the field. I couldn’t help but feel as if I had struck gold a number of times on my treasure hunt for the best names. Let’s get into the preview.
Individual Names:
Treasure Hunt (Martin Methodist): See what I did there? As one of the four #1 seeds, Treasure is going to be tough to beat. I applaud the Hunt family for going all in on their last name here. Lurking deep on the unknown Martin Methodist roster, you could say this Treasure was buried, but they couldn’t hide her forever.
Edina Music (Hunter College): For our non-Minnesotan readers, Edina is the city where News from the Couch founder Matt Hambidge currently resides. Fellow contributor Chris Kuna and I attended Edina High School, which happens to have a top-tier music program. This name hits really close to home (no pun intended).
Charity Savage (Middle Tennessee): What is a Charity Savage? Is it someone who loves giving to charities so aggressively that everyone is afraid of them? Is it someone who steals from the less fortunate? The answer is neither – Charity Savage is a six-foot-tall forward for Middle Tennessee, obviously, and the #4 seed in this year’s Shackeel Butters region.
Forever Toppin (Central Connecticut State): The women are really bringing it, especially with first names. On their own, Forever and Toppin would be great first and last names, respectively, but when you combine the two? Near perfection. This name sounds extremely arrogant and I love it. Forever will look to represent Central Connecticut State proudly as a #3 seed.
Toddriana Isler (Alcorn State): Not a flashy name, by any means, but very strong. Combining a very masculine ‘Todd’ and a very feminine ‘Adriana’ is a daunting task, but the Islers were able to pull it off. For their efforts, Toddriana is awarded the very prestigious prize of a #6 seed in the 2019 Women’s College Basketball Tournament of Names.
Phylicia Bacon (Western Colorado): Bacon… Yummy.
Yummy Morris (TCU): You know what this name reminds me of? Bacon.
Divine Tanks (McNeese State): Any time you get an adjective for a first name and noun for a last name, it turns out amazing. Her #2 seed could easily be considered a snub.
Harriet Winchester (Troy): As Divine’s first-round opponent, Harriet will likely be forgotten as a #15 seed in this huge mess of outrageous names, but she should be appreciated. This name is the epitome of class and is a much needed change of pace.
Nia De La Peña-Thompson (Hope International): Nia… De La Peña… yes, I’m following up to this point… Thompson? Where did that come from? Just when you think you have everything figured out, Nia is here to prove you wrong, and she’s doing it in the fitting upset spot of a #12 seed.
Cali Weed (Adrian): Let the pun begin.
Matchups:
#3 Kween Jean vs. #14 A’Queen Hayes – First Round – Shackeel Butters Region: There’s only room for one queen in this royal family of names, and we’re going to find out who it is early on.
#7 Qadashah Hoppie vs. #10 Holly Hoopingarner – First Round – Shackeel Butters Region: Hops vs. Hoops. A great matchup in the spirit of basketball. Will the Hoppie family regret their decision to forego the ‘U’ after the ‘Q’ in Qadashah if the structurally sound Holly Hoopingarner prevails?
#8 Angel Golden vs. #9 Heaven Holmes – First Round – Diing Diing Wol Region: Usually fighting for the same cause, Angel and Heaven are pitted against each other in a first round showdown.
#4 Juicy Landrum vs. #5 Yummy Morris – possible Second Round matchup – Tasmania Indaiana Jones Region: If only there were a Savory, Sweet, or Delicious to go along with them.
#3 LaJoyous Boose vs. #6 Alliya Butts – possible Second Round matchup – Tasmania Indiana Jones Region: A throwback to the immaturity of the 2018 tournament.
#12 Kenya Pye vs. #13 Nigeria Jones – possible Second Round Matchup – Leroy Butts IV Region: The Leroy Butts IV Region is loaded with great potential later-round matchups, and this may be my favorite, specifically because both Kenya and Nigeria play for the same team, Alabama A&M.
#1 Ginamarie Pizza vs. #9 Taber Beer – possible Second Round matchup – Leroy Butts IV Region: For many people, this will be a tough call. I know I prefer Pizza, specifically Davanni’s, but I could be in the minority here.
#2 Cali Weed vs. #9 Taber Beer – possible Elite Eight matchup – Leroy Butts IV Region: If Pizza vs. Beer is problematic, I can’t imagine the toll this matchup could take on our less sober voters.
Final Picks:
I predict Kween Jean will prevail as the Butters Region champ, while Cali Weed will emerge from the Butts Region. On the other side of the bracket, I see Treasure Hunt taking down Faith Nation in the Elite Eight in a surprisingly close matchup, and my girl Divine Tanks paving her way to the Final Four. In a Cali Weed vs. Treasure Hunt championship match, Cali lights up the voting to win it all.
