The 2023 Names Bracket

Hello and welcome to the sixth annual College Basketball Names Bracket! It’s an odd-numbered year, so the ladies are up to bat. While there has been some debate among the seeding committee about the top tier names this year, the depth is perhaps unmatched from previous brackets. Searching rosters from UConn to WestConn, I have assembled a field of 64 players that will not disappoint.

The story of this year will be the return and search of vengeance for Jalyn Sackrider. In the inevitable Sackrider/Handy championship matchup of 2021, Handy emerged victorious. However, with no Handy in the field this time around, this is perhaps the best opportunity Sackrider will have to claim her rightful spot on the throne of greatest names in the game.

Our returning players policy is documented below. You are eligible to return if: 

1. You play D-I basketball and I like your name
2. You play D-I basketball and I don’t particularly like your name but it could be used in a funny matchup.
3. You play lower than D-I, but have a legitimate shot according to the seeding committee of winning the entire tournament.

Returning players will be marked with one asterisk per year they’ve already competed. Double stars for legends Forever Toppin and Divine Tanks.

You can find the full, printable version of the bracket here: 2023 Names Bracket PDF

And here is the link to first round voting: 2023 Voting Form

Subsequent updates will be added to the Names Bracket Official Twitter account, so please follow HERE.

Names to Watch

Jalyn Sackrider (2nd appearance, Evergreen State) – #1 overall seed, Ali Salami Region. As has been well-documented, Jalyn just didn’t have enough to get it done in 2021. A bit of bad luck stopped one of the strongest runs we’ve seen, getting matched up against the other most unfortunate name in the history of the bracket in the championship.

Sayler Beerwinkle (Hardin-Simmons) – #1 seed, Rock Hardison Region. Our highest rated newcomer, Beerwinkle has everything it takes to win this tournament. While it’s not a dirty name, it still throws the adults a bone with the beer reference, and adding “winkle” to the end of any name is an automatic 25-30% increase in rating.

Forever Toppin (Central Connecticut State) and Divine Tanks (McNeese State) – #1 seeds, Tony Toney and Man Man Baker Regions, respectively. Two bracket legends return for a third and final appearance. With less firepower at the top of the bracket this time around, will this finally be the year?

Kim Kockenmeister (Swarthmore) – #2 seed, Tony Toney Region. Kockenmeister drew the short straw in 2021, getting left out of the bracket in favor of the even more outrageous Handy and Sackrider. However, her wait is over this year and we’ll see if the correct decision was made two years ago not to include her. A deep run this year would certainly stir up even more controversy among the critics of the selection committee.

LaCambria Shakespeare (Alabama A&M) – #3 seed, Rock Hardison Region. Pick your poison here between first and last name. I’ve never seen LaCambria before, but I love it, and Shakespeare is about as classy as it gets. Perhaps the strongest name front-to-back in the entire field.

Jermany Mapp (Hampton) – #4 seed, Tony Toney Region. Short and sweet. There is no wasted motion here, except maybe the additional P on the last name. Either way, Jermany Mapp will have a great chance to navigate this region as a four-seed and end up in the Final Four.

Autumn Vineyard (Trinity Baptist College) – #5 seed, Ali Salami Region. There’s no name that paints a better picture than this one. Pure, crisp, distinctive. You can smell the fall air as “Autumn Vineyard” rolls off the tongue.

Breezy Savage (Covenant) – #8 seed, Ali Salami Region. In a bit of a throwback, this is a very similar name to Charity Savage of the 2019 bracket. When you have a last name like “Savage,” you don’t really expect such a casual first name. The juxtaposition is nice. Time will tell if she’s more Breezy or Savage as far as her performance goes.

Honor Culpepper (NYU) – #15 seed, Man Man Baker Region. The only “Honor” I discovered while combing 1,000-plus rosters, this was a no-brainer. As a huge survivor fan, this is a tip of the cap to Brad and Monica. Please come back and make Survivor great again.

Matchups to Watch

#8 Peyton Boom vs. #9 Payton Bang – First round, Tony Toney Region. This is the headlining matchup of the year, and it’s only an 8/9 first-rounder. The fact that these two names came from the same roster at MSU Moorhead is almost unbelievable. There is no better way to start this bracket than with such an explosive duo.

#6 Jersey Wolfenbarger vs. #11 Saylor Poffenbarger – First round, Ali Salami region. Almost as unbelievable as Peyton Boom and Payton Bang playing on the same team, Arkansas boasts the second-strangest pair of outrageously similar names this year.

#5 Loyal McQueen vs. #12 Tyara McQueen (no relation) – First round, Man Man Baker region. There isn’t much that needs to be said about this. Royalty will emerge regardless of the winner.

#6 Malaysia Dingle vs. #11 Asiah Dingle (no relation) – First round, Rock Hardison region. Another self-explanatory matchup. The fact that two people can have such similar names and not be related is a bit perplexing.

#7 Diamond Cannon vs. #10 Diamond Hunter – First round, Tony Toney region. Odds are that Cannon will overpower Hunter in this matchup. The imagery of a diamond cannon compared to someone hunting diamonds is what does it for me.

#3 Tower Lorde vs. #6 Serenity Castle – potential Second Round, Tony Toney region. I am really starting to appreciate some of these juxtapositions. Tower Lorde, sounding like a dictatorial ruler, and Serenity Castle, sounding more like a democratic establishment of the people.

#3 Deja Blue vs. #6 Challis Westwater – potential Second Round, Man Man Baker region. Water enthusiasts will have their pick of bottle vs. chalice.

#4 Heaven Knox vs. #5 Heaven Lee – potential Second Round, Rock Hardison region. While Heaven Lee is a calming, pleasant name, Heaven Knox gives you the opposite feeling of not knowing when your time will be up.

#1 Divine Tanks vs. #9 Sierra Godbolt – potential Second Round, Man Man Baker region. Which holy force of destruction will prevail here? I think I’d rather be hit by a divine tank than a bolt directly from God, but it’s a tough call.

#1 Sayler Beerwinkle vs. #2 Majestic Sales – potential Elite Eight, Rock Hardison Region. So much sailing.

#1 Jalyn Sackrider vs. #2 Analynn Bohner – potential Elite Eight, Ali Salami Region. This had to be done so there wouldn’t be an overpowering quantity of dirty sounding names in the Final Four. The people will need to make their choice before then.

Jared Sundin