The 2018 Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament bracket has been released. Life is good.
The unpredictability of a huge single-elimination basketball tournament, and this one in particular, can create some of the most memorable and exciting moments in all of sports. While I’m sure sports fans everywhere have already begun filling out their NCAA Tournament brackets, I’m going to hold off for tonight, because I have a better bracket to debut… The bracket for the 2018 Men’s College Basketball Tournament of Names.
Here’s a link so you can view it in PDF form:
2018 Men’s College Basketball Tournament of Names (Printable)
The College Basketball Tournament of Names matches up some of the best player names in college basketball in the same single-elimination style bracket as the regular NCAA Tournament. I’ve searched the depths of college basketball rosters, from the NCAA’s Division I to whatever the USCAA is, and have found what I believe are 64 of the best names of real players in all of college basketball. I can’t stress this enough – these are actual names of current college basketball players.
Sure, I could have limited my search to Division I of the NCAA, but what fun would that have been? Everyone knows Division I. We’ll have a chance to see those guys from time to time. It’s the unknown schools that often roster the most outrageous names, and it’s time someone gives them a moment in the spotlight.
With the help of an expert seeding committee comprised of diehard sports fans, as much sense has been made of these names as possible. Obviously, the nature of single-elimination brackets will lead to controversy regarding the seeding. With such a subjective criteria of what makes a name “good,” there is rarely going to be complete agreement on how they are organized. I just hope that the best ones rise to the top when everything is said and done.
Here’s how the Tournament of Names works: You get to decide who the winners and losers are. Round by round, you advance your favorite players to determine which one ultimately has the best name in college basketball. Along the way, you’ll produce some great matchups. Perhaps J’Breun Sprinkle and Ferron Flavors Jr. meet in the second round for a tasty battle. Maybe Anastasios Demogerontas and Izayah Mauriohooho-Le’afa face off in the Final Four in a matchup that will take longer to pronounce than decide. The possibilities are limitless, and no two brackets will be the same.
You can print and fill out your own bracket if you’d like to create your own matchups. There will also be an overall bracket where everyone can vote on each matchup to determine which name the general population deems the best. If you’d like to contribute to the overall bracket by casting your votes, use this link:
Voting for 2018 Men’s College Basketball Tournament of Names – First Round
Updates will be provided upon completion of each round (not necessarily consistent with the timing of the actual NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament).
The Tournament of Names debuts with the men this year, and will alternate on an every-other-year basis with the women. Not to give too much away, but I may be even more excited for the women’s bracket. Tabitha Fudge stole my heart two years ago and I’ve even dedicated a region to her in the 2018 bracket. The other regions are named after some of my favorite college football players of the past – Quinterris Toppings, Gusty Schwartzmeier, and Wonderful Terry. Let’s hope the names this year live up to the lofty standards those athletes have already set.
Now that I’ve at least attempted to explain this tournament, I’d like to preview some of the best individual names and head-to-head matchups of the 2018 edition.
Individual names:
Shackeel Butters, Williams Baptist College: Shackeel is the number one overall seed in 2018. Hailing from something called Williams Baptist College, this may be the first time his name has ever been mentioned online outside of a game preview or recap written by his school. Butters may be the strongest last name in the field, and the curious spelling of Shackeel adds to the intrigue.
Geoff Beans, Furman: This is just a solid name all the way through. Classic first name. Beans for a last name. Not flashy by any means, but you can expect a Sweet 16 run.
Peter Jurkin, East Tennessee State: Here’s one that should satisfy our readers with a less mature sense of humor. Mr. Jurkin may have the most unfortunate name in college basketball. Peter is an interesting choice for your child’s name when your last name is Jurkin. Not making fun of him, though. This guy is a badass for just owning it.
Stanthony Nelms, Bluefield College: You know when you can’t decide between two great choices, so you combine them? Stan and Anthony are both distinguished names, but when you put them together… magic. Bluefield College leads the field with an absurd four tournament participants, as Stanthony is joined by Donal Gooch, Jorge Concepcion III, and Omega Stitt.
Joey Frenchwood IV, Lamar / Leroy Butts IV, Radford: I’m a sucker for names that continue a long line of family history. The Frenchwoods and the Buttses have passed down Joey and Leroy, respectively, for four generations. Fittingly, they are both seeded #4 in their regions. I anxiously await the 2040 bracket where we get the fifth edition of each.
Roberts Blumbergs, Grand Canyon: If this were just Robert Blumberg, he wouldn’t have made the tournament. That’s a boring name. However, we get all of the Roberts Blumbergs with this name, and I predict they will work together to advance out of the first round as a #9 seed.
Jerry Perry, Texas Southern: Only a #13 seed, Jerry could get lost in a sea of flashy names. What people sometimes don’t appreciate is simplicity, and this name is perfect in a simple sense. Don’t overthink. Give him a chance.
Ebube Ebube, Manhattan: This may be the most perfect name of them all. Not only does Ebube have the same first and last name, but if you analyze closely you’ll notice that it is spelled the exact same forwards as it is backwards. I expect the structural symmetry to produce strong results. I also want to imply that in no way am I making fun of this guy because he looks enormous.
Matchups:
#7 Dinero Mercurius vs. #10 Prince Ali – first round: It’s the Spanish word for “money” vs. an iconic Disney prince. This could be the most prestigious matchup of the whole tournament, and we get it right off the bat.
#4 Joey Frenchwood IV vs. #13 Everett Winchester – first round: While Dinero vs. a prince is an obvious choice for richest sounding matchup, this one just sounds like there’s a lot of old money involved. Romeo and Juliet may as well have been written about the Frenchwoods and the Winchesters. Joey comes in as a heavy favorite here due to the family lineage.
#3 Omega Stitt vs. #14 Alpha Diallo – first round: This is the marquee matchup of the first round. Alpha and Omega. It doesn’t get bigger. In this instance, the tournament seeding committee is projecting Omega as the stronger entity. Only time and your votes will tell.
#8 Che Bob vs. #9 Thik Bol – first round: No hyphens, no apostrophes, no third or fourth generations, no bells and whistles at all. These guys just mean business. This is a classic pick ‘em #8 vs. #9 matchup where not even the most complicated algorithms cannot project a winner.
#3 El Paso Pitts vs. #6 San Antonio Brinson – potential second round matchup: Which second-tier city of Texas do you like more?
#3 Ferron Flavors Jr. vs. #6 J’Breun Sprinkle – potential second round matchup: A mouthwatering matchup filled with food references.
#1 Tasmania Indaiana Jones vs. Izayah Mauriohooho Le’afa – potential second round matchup: I got so exhausted just writing these names that I’m going to skip the preview.
#1 Diing Diing Wol vs. #2 Ebube Ebube – potential Elite Eight matchup: Two redundant names, but only one can advance. It’s very possible the winner of this matchup takes the championship when it’s all over.
These names and matchups are just a glimpse of the outrageousness we could see in the inaugural College Basketball Tournament of Names. Please be sure to cast your votes for the overall bracket too! Again, here are the links to each:
Voting for 2018 Men’s College Basketball Tournament of Names – First Round
2018 Men’s College Basketball Tournament of Names (Printable)
