I’m a diehard sports fan. This may be clear from pretty much all of the posts I’ve written. There are a few days every year where a sporting event takes priority over all other aspects of my life – Super Bowl Sunday, Masters Sunday, and the opening Thursday and Friday of the NCAA Basketball Tournament all come to mind.
However, there’s one day of the year that tops the rest: WrestleMania Sunday. If you’re not a wrestling fan, there’s no way I can accurately describe the excitement it brings. I can’t even try. You’ll just have to take my word that, as someone who lives and breathes sports, this is what I enjoy watching the most.
WrestleMania 34 happens this Sunday, April 8th, and it’s stacking up to be one of the best WrestleManias we’ve ever seen. The card is loaded with must-see matches, almost all of them with titles on the line. I won’t waste more time babbling about how giddy I am for WrestleMania, I’ll just get into my predictions and attempt to do so in a match order similar to what we may see on Sunday. I’m also going to include my level of excitement on a scale of 1-10 for each match.
Pre-Show
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Featuring Dolph Ziggler, Woken Matt Hardy, Baron Corbin, and Mojo Rawley (among others)
Excitement level: 1
I don’t even want to watch this match, but it has to go somewhere. All of the interesting male wrestlers are on the main card and the only person people care about in this match is Matt Hardy. The one way this match becomes anything but boring is if there are a couple of surprise competitors that have long runs. Past winners of this match have gone on to do very little within the next year, and I don’t expect this time to be any different.
Prediction: Bray Wyatt. He hasn’t been confirmed for this match and it’s very possible he doesn’t return from his recent absence until after WrestleMania, but this is the only realistic scenario I can think of that wouldn’t induce sleep for those watching. He needs a career resurgence and this would at least be a step in the right direction.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali
Excitement level: 5
The cruiserweight division is great, in theory. It consists of agile performers who need to rely on athleticism rather than strength, which often results in compelling matches. The problem is that WWE does not put enough time into telling stories with the cruiserweights in order to make their matches feel meaningful. The cruiserweight title has been vacated for a couple of months since Enzo Amore was fired for sexual assault allegations. A 16-man tournament was held in order to determine a new champion, and Alexander and Ali are the final two remaining. Unfortunately, in typical cruiserweight fashion, this contest will still not make the main card.
Prediction: Mustafa Ali. While Cedric has the look and athleticism of a champion, it seems WWE has spent more time telling Ali’s story over the past few weeks and it wouldn’t make much sense to give him a loss here.
WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal
Featuring Bayley, Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Naomi, and Natalya (among others)
Excitement level: 7
The first ever WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal will have a lot of meaning. It is an opportunity on a huge stage for one woman to rise above the rest and position herself as a future star in the women’s division, or it could be an opportunity for someone to validate a long career if WWE decides to go that route. There should also be some fun debuts of women from the NXT roster breaking onto the main scene. What holds this match back from being a 10 on the excitement scale is that four of the best female wrestlers will be competing in championship matches later in the evening and are not eligible.
Prediction: Nikki Bella. Making a surprise appearance, I think WWE will go with a long-tenured female star as a reward for a great career.
